Source: Graduate Photography Online - 2020 - London College of Communication - MA Photojournalism & Documentary Photography

Back in time

During the COVID-19 lockdown, I installed a camera in my room and gave my parents the right of visual surveillance so that they could check an app to watch me without time difference. It was intended to reduce their worries in this circumstance, but I experienced negative and positive emotions because of this experimental practice. On one hand, I did not want my parents to observe my behaviors. But on the other hand, the desire to be completely “looked after” was particularly strong when there was a global pandemic. The ambivalent emotion led me recognize the back-in-time desire from my unconsciousness. The project works as a group of collage that consist of my childhood photographs and black&white screenshots. Both of them were taken by my parents, from their gaze. This attempts to discuss the seesaw parent-child relationship in young adulthood. Captions of each pair are taken from my parents’ words when they recalled memories and related stories. This collaboration with my parents helped to alleviate our shared separation anxiety and give me a big sense of security when there was a global pandemic.

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Zhiran Gu - London College of Communication